Sta.sh
Lonely 
Well this past month has been hard. Four essays, two concerts....I guess it's natural that my back would start having problems again after all this exertion. This past week alone I've been taking lots of pain pills, even written my essays in bed because I can't sit comfortably enough to use my laptop anymore (or eat at the dining hall or go to class for that matter). I'm just worried because now my physiotherapist thinks something else is wrong with me that has caused me to relapse. And if he's doing what I think he's doing right now, I might be paying another visit to the neurosurgeon soon to talk about getting a epidural injection. The only thing I know about this procedure is that the online videos show a lot of happy old people going through it. Old people...that REALLY makes me feel better about my current circumstances. Usually I get disgusted when I see ten year-olds wearing the exact same hoodies I have, but now old people? Can I never be my own age?
That was supposed to make you laugh, JSYK. Go ahead
Okay...now let's talk about things that aren't related to my health shall we? Yesterday I played my term concert with my band. I was a bit sad after because as much as I didn't like some things about the director, I thought we really came together near the end. Definitely had some moments where I was really lost in the music and felt like I was in high school again. This then made me feel a little bit stupid because I realize I'm just reliving a kind of illusion that will never get you anywhere in real life. I'm such a double thinker.
On a similar note I had a weird breakdown last week thinking about what makes an artist. I started thinking about musicians I know, and the pictures I take, and somehow, seemed to have just reached a point that I went so in deep into myself I couldn't handle it and started to cry. I don't know, has this happened to anyone before? Am I an emotional sap or something?
I've pre-ordered Assassin's Creed 3 as an early-ish birthday present to myself. The shipping is free via Amazon
This month I also had the pleasure of getting locked out of my room AND getting a hardware failure on my laptop just an hour before my opera paper was due. That and I still had to make my bibliography, so I had a grand total of 50 minutes to put everything together by the time everything fixed itself. You'd think I'd learn after this not to leave my essays to the last minute, but I didn't. But then my health did have a bit of a factor in that. Essay writing isn't exactly on your mind when you're in pain, or waiting for the pain to stop.
But oh well. OH WELL. Only one month left. Two tests this week, then three exams, then two concerts and then I'm free to go home...start summer school, look for a job (preferably one that doesn't require heavy lifting), maybe hang out with les friends?
